Unexpected moments of Hope

  



So clearly I am pretty amazing at being a lazy bum, hints the fact that it has been a good month since my last post! It is so easy this time of year to bundle up in comfy clothes with a cup of coffee and a good book and get lost in it. During the summer and fall I am running around non-stop so when winter and spring come around I like to spend it being a home-body. I would like to blame my absence on quite a few life events, but basically it all comes back to being too tired and lazy. I am exhausted! These fertility medications kick your booty (I guess I can kinda put some of the blame here). I am thinking about doing a name change to "Mrs. Moody", its really that bad sometimes.  Poor Todd has gotten the brunt of my moodiness, Sorry babe!! BUT the good news is I am back and I am going to try my best to be more proactive with my writing and we are defiantly making progress in 2014!


Let's jump right into to things shall we?

Sadly, we did not have an extra special Christmas announcement this year, but we have made a lot of progress at least. The previous cycle we recently ended was not as terrible as it could have been.  My blood test were done 7 days post ovulation and they stated that my progesterone was at a whopping  38, which for you folks who don't know, that's pretty high considering the level only needs to be at least 13. Although, my estrogen levels is a whole other story. My estrogen was extremely low. It needed to be at a level of 120 at least and it was only at 88. Basically, that stinks! Estrogen is prevalent in the first half of the cycle and it reaches it's highest level during ovulation.  Low estrogen can make for a weak ovulation, no thickening of the uterine lining which is extremely important and needed for implantation of fertilized eggs, and low quality of CM--if you are unaware of what this is, don't ask, you will thank me later:).

Dr. Parker had decided after my last failed cycle with my estrogen issues that we would try one more cycle without changing anything just to see if my hormone levels even out because it was only my second cycle since my surgery.  We are well into this cycle now and so far so good.  If my estrogen levels or something else is not great again this cycle then the plan is to change up my medication regimen for next cycle.

My hopes for this cycle are of course high as always, but I know realistically this is more of a test cycle and the chances of conceiving are low.  Nothing is impossible though! Miracles happen every single day.  This was brought to my attention more so than normal at work on Friday.

In case you do not already know where I work,  I am a manager of a local tanning salon.  While I was working on Friday, a customer of mine came in to cancel her tanning membership. I looked up her name and saw that she had not used her membership in 3 full months, but had paid for it so I of course asked if there is anything she was un happy with.  She got very nervous and I could tell she was thinking about how she was say what she needed to say.  She all the sudden just blurted out "I am Pregnant and I was nervous that if I cancelled it would jinx us." I told her congratulations and said no reason to worry about jinxing it, but I totally understand that worry.  She began opening up about her previous miscarriages and how hard it was to get where she is today.  I gave her a little mini version of our story too and oh my gosh it was crazy how much we have in common.  Turns out, we both have Endometriosis and low estrogen.  We both have had many chemical pregnancies due to progesterone levels and our endometriosis.  We both have done numerous types of medicines and treatments basically in the same order. And it gets crazier, we both have gone to the exact same doctors in the exact same order.  The only difference is that she is about 6 months ahead of me with Dr. Parker!!  We began to compare medicines that worked for her and time frames and such and it was so awesome to hear her success story!  I truly believe that God sends moments and people into our lives to help us and teach us and this was a perfect example of that.  She was so lovely and kind to me and she really had no reason to be.  It is so refreshing to meet people like that.  She let me know that although it may seem never ending and that things are moving so slowly with Dr. Parker (He is known to work slowly, but with amazing success), he will get us to the point we long to be at.  Not that I needed to meet her to believe Dr. Parker was going to help us, but it sure did help me rest my worries I did have.  I am so thankful to have met her.

I will never be able to express in words how significant and beautiful God's work truly is. Knowing He loves me unconditionally and He has a specific reason for every little thing in my day to day life can only be described as one thing, amazing.  No one else in the world will ever be able to love me like He does and I am so grateful I have rebuilt my relationship with him this year. There is nothing greater to me than living a life with Jesus!

For this cycle, I plan on just relaxing and just enjoying the New Year.  I pray this year is everything that I and my fellow TTC ladies wish for and more!!

Cheers to the New Year!