Cheers to the New Year (& Maybe babies)...

Every year I come up with another resolution that I stick with for a month or so and then it slowly fades away because I choose something that is either way too general which makes it hard to follow and stick with without making exceptions and excuses, or I just come up with something quickly and I don't actually set a plan to follow through. A little before Christmas I started thinking about what I wanted to work on to make 2014 better, but I couldn't make a decision of exactly what I wanted to work on.  There are so many things that I need to work on in my life that I could go on and on with things I should make my resolution, but I wanted to choose something that was going to make a huge difference.

 I realized that a lot of the things I was contemplating to put all my efforts in rebuilding and working on all came back to one main thing, my marriage.  I thought about making it a goal to repair our finances and get all of my school loans and medical bills paid, which would in turn make our marriage less stressful.  I thought about making an effort to keep up with things around the house so that my husband can always (ok, that's extreme. how about a lot of the time?) come home to a clean home.  I contemplated making more of an effort to not let things outside our marriage effect us. I also tend to have a bit of a loud mouth in my marriage.  I most defiantly have no issues speaking my mind with Todd and of course in a marriage speaking your mind and talking about feelings is great, but there is a good way and a bad way of doing that.  I tend to go towards the bad road most of the time and just blurt it out.  I need to take time to think about things before I say them and not turn into the incredible hulk every time things don't go well.  I am lucky Todd has the complete opposite personality as I do or we probably would be in a world of hurt right now. I can thank my Daddy for my opinionated always have to be right mind, and I can thank my Mama for my strong will. By the way,thanks for that mom & dad:)  I guess it could have been worse if I didn't also get my Dad's giving heart and my Mom's forgiving one <3.


SO with all of that being said my official New Year resolution is:

To build a better relationship with Jesus & with my husband.  Not because the relationships are failing, but because my marriage and God are THE most important things in my life. I never want to stop learning and growing in my relationship with God.  I refuse to fail in my marriage because of things like finances, stupid mistakes, and words you cant take back.  Marriage is more than a contract to me, its my life! Lucky for you babe, you are stuck with my till I am old and grey:)

I like this resolution.  Who says a resolution has to be something you give up or some kind of torture you decide on the 31st to put yourself through for as many months as you can handle.  This year is going to be a blast spending it with the two people I love most, Jesus and my husband.  Now who is lucky? This girl right here!!



I hope this year brings my family, friends, and I  happiness, hope, and some 2014 babies!!!!!

CHEERS TO THE NEW YEAR!!

Unexpected moments of Hope

  



So clearly I am pretty amazing at being a lazy bum, hints the fact that it has been a good month since my last post! It is so easy this time of year to bundle up in comfy clothes with a cup of coffee and a good book and get lost in it. During the summer and fall I am running around non-stop so when winter and spring come around I like to spend it being a home-body. I would like to blame my absence on quite a few life events, but basically it all comes back to being too tired and lazy. I am exhausted! These fertility medications kick your booty (I guess I can kinda put some of the blame here). I am thinking about doing a name change to "Mrs. Moody", its really that bad sometimes.  Poor Todd has gotten the brunt of my moodiness, Sorry babe!! BUT the good news is I am back and I am going to try my best to be more proactive with my writing and we are defiantly making progress in 2014!


Let's jump right into to things shall we?

Sadly, we did not have an extra special Christmas announcement this year, but we have made a lot of progress at least. The previous cycle we recently ended was not as terrible as it could have been.  My blood test were done 7 days post ovulation and they stated that my progesterone was at a whopping  38, which for you folks who don't know, that's pretty high considering the level only needs to be at least 13. Although, my estrogen levels is a whole other story. My estrogen was extremely low. It needed to be at a level of 120 at least and it was only at 88. Basically, that stinks! Estrogen is prevalent in the first half of the cycle and it reaches it's highest level during ovulation.  Low estrogen can make for a weak ovulation, no thickening of the uterine lining which is extremely important and needed for implantation of fertilized eggs, and low quality of CM--if you are unaware of what this is, don't ask, you will thank me later:).

Dr. Parker had decided after my last failed cycle with my estrogen issues that we would try one more cycle without changing anything just to see if my hormone levels even out because it was only my second cycle since my surgery.  We are well into this cycle now and so far so good.  If my estrogen levels or something else is not great again this cycle then the plan is to change up my medication regimen for next cycle.

My hopes for this cycle are of course high as always, but I know realistically this is more of a test cycle and the chances of conceiving are low.  Nothing is impossible though! Miracles happen every single day.  This was brought to my attention more so than normal at work on Friday.

In case you do not already know where I work,  I am a manager of a local tanning salon.  While I was working on Friday, a customer of mine came in to cancel her tanning membership. I looked up her name and saw that she had not used her membership in 3 full months, but had paid for it so I of course asked if there is anything she was un happy with.  She got very nervous and I could tell she was thinking about how she was say what she needed to say.  She all the sudden just blurted out "I am Pregnant and I was nervous that if I cancelled it would jinx us." I told her congratulations and said no reason to worry about jinxing it, but I totally understand that worry.  She began opening up about her previous miscarriages and how hard it was to get where she is today.  I gave her a little mini version of our story too and oh my gosh it was crazy how much we have in common.  Turns out, we both have Endometriosis and low estrogen.  We both have had many chemical pregnancies due to progesterone levels and our endometriosis.  We both have done numerous types of medicines and treatments basically in the same order. And it gets crazier, we both have gone to the exact same doctors in the exact same order.  The only difference is that she is about 6 months ahead of me with Dr. Parker!!  We began to compare medicines that worked for her and time frames and such and it was so awesome to hear her success story!  I truly believe that God sends moments and people into our lives to help us and teach us and this was a perfect example of that.  She was so lovely and kind to me and she really had no reason to be.  It is so refreshing to meet people like that.  She let me know that although it may seem never ending and that things are moving so slowly with Dr. Parker (He is known to work slowly, but with amazing success), he will get us to the point we long to be at.  Not that I needed to meet her to believe Dr. Parker was going to help us, but it sure did help me rest my worries I did have.  I am so thankful to have met her.

I will never be able to express in words how significant and beautiful God's work truly is. Knowing He loves me unconditionally and He has a specific reason for every little thing in my day to day life can only be described as one thing, amazing.  No one else in the world will ever be able to love me like He does and I am so grateful I have rebuilt my relationship with him this year. There is nothing greater to me than living a life with Jesus!

For this cycle, I plan on just relaxing and just enjoying the New Year.  I pray this year is everything that I and my fellow TTC ladies wish for and more!!

Cheers to the New Year!